My Wife and kids:
Early in 1968, I informed my parents about my readiness to get married. They started looking for an alliance. Towards September of that year I went to Madras to "see" a girl. My father had come along from Tiruchi. She was just a matriculate and had a rural background. I gave my consent, though I did not like the girl directly looking at me. As I did not hear from my parents for sometime, I spoke to them. I came to know that the proposal had been dropped because my mother had insisted on a "silver Kudam". I felt bad. After some months, I also went to Calcutta to "see" agirl. Her father Rajan was a steel merchant. Here also I liked the girl, but as Mr Rajan wanted me to be a "Veettu Mappillai" to look after his business, I asked my parents not to proceed.
In 1969, Banks were nationalised. United Commercial Bank, being the fifth largest bank then, was also nationalised. We received directive to in crease our lending to priority sectors-agriculture,export,small-nusiness,small-scale industry etc. My Manager Mr Sonalker started lending to Andhra agriculturists located in Ramtek, forty miles away from the Branch.In no time, he built up a portfolio of Rs 1 crore.(Big then). I disagreed with his approach and recorded my note of dissent. I was considered by our Regional Office as an Officer not tuned to the new times and emerging situation. Though we personally disagreed, Mr Sonalkar liked me. He gave me an "exemplary rating" and I was promoted to the next grade. There was also an increase in salary from Rs 850/ to Rs 1400/- as a result of implementation of a wage award. I was now more determined to get married.
I went to Tiruchi for Deepavali. At that time, we had received the horoscope of my wife from Ashok Nagar,Madras. As the height mentioned was 5 feet 5 inches, I requested my parents not to proceed. My father told me that the horoscopes had matched perfectly. I left Tiruchi for Nagpur. When I was in Madras, I learnt that all the trains to Nagpur were cancelled for the next two days because of excessive floods in Vijayawada. I did not know what to do in Madras. I telephoned my father at our neighbour!s place and asked him to come to Madras to see the Ashok Nagar girl. My mother came and we went to "see" my wife on a rainy day. Her elder brother was not there.My wife played Veena. She did not even look at me. I immediately liked her and gave my consent to my mother through "sign". I left for Nagpur and there was no news from Tiruchi. There were some problems on dowry. I sent a telegram to my father stating that "If at all I marry, I will marry only that Ashok Nagar girl". My parents realised that I was serious and went ahead with the proposal.The marriage, initially fixed in January, had to be postponed due to the death of my Periappa (father's elder brother) in New Delhi. I got married to Anu on 18th February 1970. How I wish I had enough money to prevent my parents from asking for dowry. I could not blame them as there was an expenditure estimate of Rs 5,000/ for the marriage from our side.. I did not have that kind of money to give it to them. I decided then I will not demand or give dowry when my children got married in future. I remain eternally thankful to the floods for giving me a wonderful wife.
Here, I want to say a few words about my wife.She has been my guardian angel for past 39 years. She has provided stability,love and disicipline to my life.We do not converse much, but we do no know that we love each other.The disagreements, if any, could be counted on hands.She would exactly know what I though about a particular issue.She never demanded anything from me, except love and affection. She is very sensitive and emotional . The values imbibed by my children are all given to them by her.Her cleanliness and excellent personal hygene impressed me a lot during the early years of our marrigae. She knew how to run the family within a given income. Her religious nature ebbed one me and we began to visit temples regularly.Indeed, I consider myself blessed. There is a Tamil song "Manaivi Amaivathellam Iraivan Kodutha Varam". This is true. There is also a French Proverb that says "A man deserves the wife he gets". Perhaps, I also deserved such a good wife. We have led a blissful life for 39 years. We will be completing forty years of marriage on 18th February 2010.
After marriage, we went to Palani and Madurai for honeymoon. I could not afford to take my wife elsewhere. Early March in 1970, we left for Nagpur in Grand Trunk Express (GT) with the marriage bed on the upper berth. My mother accompanied us .
Before the marriage , I had fixed a one-bedroom flat in "Karvartkar Nivas" in a good locality in Nagpur. I had also bought basic furniture and a gas connection. We moved into the flat in March 1970. In the first week I invited all the members of staff for break-fast. My mother and wife cooked the food. All the staff member (35 of them including Officers) liked the food. My mother left Nagpur after fifteen days. I was alone with my wife.
There were no adjustment problems between me and my wife. I used to take my wife to a Hindi Movie every week. Before the movie, we would go to Shere-Punjap to get milk-shake. One big glass of milk-shake was costing only Re one at that time.One day when we were going to see "Aradhana", our Vicky Moped was chased by a group of young men. I dorve the slow vehicle as fast as I could. We did not realise that it was HOLI and it was not advisable to get out.Though we left only in the evening, we were still chased. The movie was good.
I just want to give one example of how I loved my wife. Our landlord at the Branch was one Mr Ranchoddas. He owned a big textile shop called "Bharat Stores", very near the Branch. An illiterate man, who could not read or write, he had acquired immense wealth. Whenever new sarees came, he would inform me. I would collect ten sarees on approval and bring them home. I would then ask my wife to wear them, one by one. We would finally select the one to be bought. After selection, I would return the remaining saree to Bharat Stores.
My carry-home pay was Rs 1,200/ per month. This was devided into three parts-one part to be sent to my parents at Tiruchi, one part for us and the last part to be sent to my Narayan Chittappa (mother's sister's husband) to repay the debt taken by may parents. I wanted my parents to live debt-free life. I also asked my brother Ramani to send Rs 200/ every month to Chittappa. Together, we repaid a debt of Rs 8,000/ in eighteen months with interest. We could lead a very happy life wihtin Rs 400/-, though the rent was high at Rs 135/ per month.
In june, we were happy to know that my wife was pregnant. I gave lot of calcium, vitamin C and Kumkuma Powder to my wife so that the child could be strong and fair. have never really fought in 39 years of married life, though there were very occasional misunderstandings. Even on those very rare occassions, I was at fault.
At the time of Deepavali 1970, we went to Tiruchi and Madras. We first went to Tiruchi. While there, we bought two golden bangales for three sovereigns and a gas connection for my mother - all at a cost of Rs 1,000/- I had received a bonus of Rs 900/ before we left for our trip. We used the entire money to keep my mother happy. She was very delighted.
We went to Tiruchi again in December of that year for "Seemantham". It was performed in our house at No 5, Tanjore Tank Street. My friends Pasupathy and Raju (later know as IIT Raju) attended the Seemantham function with their respective wives. All the three couples took a photograph at Venus Studios in Tiruchi. For a long time, I had kept this photograph. After the function, my wife stayed back in Madras for delivery.
A girl child was born on 16th March 1971 at Maruda Nayagam Hospital in T.Nagar. I could not go to Madras to see the child immediately as there were serious labour problems at the branch. There were three unions and they were fighting with each other constantly.
We named the child Meenakshi. My wife felt bad that I did not go over to Madras immediately to see them. She even felt that because it was a girl child, I did not go to Madras immediately. This was not true. She stayed in Madras for four months. I went to Madras after one month to see my wife and new-born girl child on one week's leave. I was received at the Central Railway Station by my wife wearing the same pink colour saree I had bought for her in Bharat Stores. I was very pleased to see her after four months. She looked like an angel to me. I also went to Tiruchi to see my parents. My wife returned to Nagpur in July. My friends and colleagues in the Office visited us to see the child. By this time, we had shifted our residence to a better accommodation in Ravi Nagar Chowke. As usual with first-time parents, we bought lot of dresses, toys etc for Meena.
Early in 1972, I was promoted as Manager of the Branch. It was a difficult Branch, but as I had already worked as an Accountant there, I was familiar with the environment. Without any efforts from my side, the deposits of the branch grew to Rs 80/ lakhs, thanks to post-oil boom. In those days, the performance of a branch was judged by the deposit growth, and not by profitability of the branch. Together with advances, the business of the branch came to Rs 2.5 crores.(1972).
I was considered a rising star. There was a Credit Management Programme conducted by the Indian Institute of Manager at Mafatlal Centre, Mumbhai, by the Bank. Only twelve Officers were selected for this one month course by the Bank from all over India and I was one among them. I never imagined that one day at a future date I will work for Mafatlal Industries ltd and that I would occupy one of the offices of this magnificent building.It was located in the newly reclaimed Nariman Point area.
I must mention here two very important incidents. One day a very young girl of twenty came to me and wanted to open a Savings Account. I told her she must maintain a minum balance of Rs 100/ if she wanted cheque-book facilities. She deposited Rs 300/ and opened the account. She would come to the Bank and deposit Rs 50/ every day. It was obvious she was a call girl. This continued for eighteen months. During this period, she would occassionally say "hallo" to me. After some time, she stopped coming to the Branch and the balance in the account had swollen to more than Rs 20,000/. This was a big amount then. After three months, a big Sardarji came to the bank and wanted payment of his dead wife!s account. Surprisingly, this was the account of the girl. I asked him to produce death certificate and succession certificate. He went away. Subsequently, he would bother me twice every week and put pressure on me to pay the amount. I refused. One day, he came with five hefty people and threatened me that if I did not pay, I would not go home alive. Just as a precaution, I used my land-lord's car on that day to go home, instead of using my vicky-moped. The next day, I complained to the police.
After a month, Police came to the Branch and wanted me to be a witness. They alleged that the Sardar had killed his wife ensuring that kerosene stove burst into flames when she went to the kitchen. I gave my statement at the Court. To a question by the Defense Lawyer as to whether I had seen the girl and the Sardar together at any time, I said "No". When I was a witenss, the Sardar gave me a very threatening look. I came to know after a few months that the Court had awarded life sentence for the Sardar.
I was gheroed for forty days for two hours after office-hours by staff of other banks. One day, a clerk belonging to AIBEA and a peon belonging to NOBW were both bleeding when I went to the branch, each claiming that the other had beat him first. This was sometime in the evening when both were woking over-time. Both the Unions were demanding that the member of the other union should be suspended. I did not relent . I maintained that if I suspended, I would suspend them both.Graudally, the number of peole gheroing me dwindled after a month and at atime when they decided to call off,the number came to five. I used to stand for two hours when pins and other small items would be directed at me just to provoke me.
During this period, I graduated to Lambretta from Vicky-moped.
I was sent to Korba in Madya pradesh in 1972 for a week in March to handle a difficult assignement. On my return, my wife informed me that she was pregnant again. I was happy as I believed in having two children, close to each other in age. I wanted a son this time. Surprisingly for me, one Sadhu came to the Branch. He was from Punjab. When I told him how much I yearned for a son, he gave me some white powder (something like vibuthi) and told me that if my wife consumed the powder with milk within sixty days of pregnancy, I would get a boy. Such a boy, would be very lucky and blessed, he said. I asked my wife to take the white powder after prayer. She did so without asking me any question. Our faith in the Punjabi Sadhu was vindicated when a son was born to me on 20th October at Marudanayagam Hospital in Madras . On both occasions, the lady in the next room was actor AVM Rajan!s wife, Pushpalatha, who also was blessed with
girls. The same Sadhu also told me, after examining my horoscope, that I would get an overseas assignment in due course. We named the child as Narayan as decided already. We also decided to call him Kaushal-both names having seven letters.
With two kids, my wife was very busy. At this time, the Bank was expanding rapidly in Maharashtra and we required lot of staff. There was no Banking Services Recruitment Board then. The Regional Office had powers to appoint clerks and peons. I have helped atleast fifty peole in life to get employment, either with the Bank or elsewhere, including my two brothers and brother-in-law.Many times, people would approach me with a request for jobs and I would appoint them after a few questions . I was given this job by the Regional Office. Among the appointees, I still remember TVS Rao and Harish Sahani. They are still in touch with me greeting me on every New Year.. A complaint was made to Head Office that I was preferring South Indians. This was investigated and I was not proved wrong.
In May 1973, my younger brother Ramani got married in Madras. While in Madras, my wife developed a problem on her left thumb. We went to Dr. Jagadeesan in Mylapore, While waiting for the doctor, I looked at the real estate column of the HINDU. I was keen to buy a house. My Housing Loan limit was Rs 45,000/
There in the paper, I saw the name "Raju Estates". He had advertised for houses within my range. On return to the Mandapam, I asked my cousin Visu whether it was the same Raju who had studied with us in Board High school, Ayyampet. He was not sure, but told me that Raju was working as Conveyancing Clerk in a Lawywer's office after S.S.L.C. After lunch on that day, we went to meet Raju Estates in Balaji Avenue, T.Nagar. We were surprised to see that it was the same Raju who was close to us in School. He had become a real estate tycoon. When I told him about my desire to buy a house, he took us to five different places and showed us houses. I liked the one in Kamaraj Avenue,, Adayar and another one in Mahabalingapuram. The house in Adayar was quoted at Rs 45,000/ and that other in Mahalinga Puram at Rs 60,000/. (beyond my reach).When I told Raju I had only Rs 500/- he agreed to show the price as Rs 50,000/ for the Adayar house so that margin
requirements would be met. We were required to pay ten percent margin for housing loans. As the house was being sold by one Mr D.S.S.Manian, who was an Associate of Raju, it was easy to convince him to mention Rs 50,000/ in the document, but accepot only Rs 45,000/. When this was agreed, I took my wife and parents to show the house. On return, I applied for Housing Loan of Rs 45,000/ to Head Office in June. Raju had provided me with all documents. The Housing Loan Section in Head Office was headed by Mr J.N.Pathak, who was Principal when I attended the Training College during my Probation.. I spoke to him. He cleared the loan in two weeks time. I got the house registered in August 1973. With just Rs 500/ in my pocket, I had bought a house (one ground with 850 sq.ft), within three months. Everything looked like a dream. I was happy that I had fulfilled my earlier dream of constructing a house for my parents. I named the house "Matru Chaya". We performed the Grahapravesam in August. My mother-in-law Lakshmi Ammal helped me with Rs 2,500/ towards registration expenses.At that time the registration and stamp duty expenses came to five percent. Raju did not collect any commission. He was the man who drafted the sale deed. For a matriculate, he dictated very stylishly to his stenographer. I was amazed.
I had asked my parents to shift to Madras from Tiruchi in June. My mother acted fast and by end of June, my parents had fixed a small portion in Mandaveli. My brother Chandran was not quite keen on this shift. My parents moved into the new house in August after a stay of two months in Mandaveli. With this, they have acquired a status in life. Our relatives began to look upto us with respect. I also got a job in UCO Bank for Chandru after speaking to Officers in Divisional Office. After completing his M.Sc in 1972, he went to Bombay looking for a job. As he did not get any, he was frustrated. I felt bad asking him to take up a clerical position in spite of his brilliant academic record.
We returned to Nagpur after Grahapravesam. One Mr Ramkaran Rajeshkumar gave me some books on Sathya Sai-baba. He also gave me a framed photographs of the Baba. I am still having that picture in my Pooja room. I was transferred to Pimpri, Pune Branch as Manager in May 1974. This was a prestigious assignment. My transfer was with a mandate that I should set up Foreign Exchange Desk at Pimpri. More than 40 people came to the Railway Station to bid fare-well to me. I was happy.
I reported for duty at Pimpri in May 1974. The branch, located in Hindustan Antibiotics premises, was in the ground floor. The residence was in the first floor.There were absolutely no labour problems. The staff was geared to give service to customers. As our Bank was the first to open in Pimpri, we were having all accounts of big companies in that industrial belt. I became a member of the Lions Club. The staff liked me and vice-versa. I opened the Forex Desk. I would obtain quotes from Mumbhai every morning and display the same on the Board. We also started negotiating export documents from Pimpri instead of sending them to Mumbhai. I spent a very useful and peaceful two years in Pimpri. With my residence on the first floor, I had more time on hand. My wife conceived again. We were blessed with a girl child on 18th April 1975. We named her Nirupama. On the day I went to the Hospital to see my wife and the new-born child, I moved into a running bus on return with my first two children on my hands. Fortunately, we were thrown into the bus. It was nightmarish experience. There was another incident when we spotted a big snake standing very near Meena in the garden in ground floor. My wife shouted from first-floor and Meena moved away.
I also befriended Mr.Marimuthu and Mr.Rajendran, both engineers from Hidustan Anti-biotics Ltd. Mr T.V.Ramachandran of Mahindra and Mahindra also became my good friend. Through his influence, I was able to get a job for my brother-in-law Balu in Vulcan Laval ltd in Calcutta. Marimuthu died two years ago, I am still in touch with Ramachandran.
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