Charity begins at home

tThere is a famous saying that charity begins at home.Here the word charity does not only refer to financial help.The dictionary meaning of the word charity is "benevolence,kindness,goodness,humanity,compassion,alms-giving,tender-heartedness love,affection,indulgence etc.

Taking care of the financial needs of immmediate family members is one!s duty- and not charity, In view of this,I think that the true meaning of this statement is that unless one is kind and affectionate to people at home, he or she is incapable of showing love and understanding to others outside of home The training has to start at home with proper up-bringing. The word "family values" refers to this only.

Two incidents that happened when I was in school are etched in my memory. There was this neighbour in Ayyampet who used to beat his old and ailing father. I disliked him. My mother, later on, told me that the neighbour was beating his father to administer medicines to him. The old man was simply refusing to take medicines. My mother!s explanation did not convince me. I felt that the negative effects of beating will more than adversely affect any good effects of the medicine. I also saw my neighbour weeping uncontrollably when his father died. I felt at that at that time that he could have been more kind to his father when he was alive rather than showing his affection by crying. I felt that he was doing this to show to the outside world that he loved his father.
The second incident was also in the neighbourhood, A girl came home, immediately after marriage, complaining that her husband was beating her regularly. She showed her bruises to my mother also. Her parents did not allow her to stay in the house even for half-an-hour and drove her away to her husband!s place. We received news of her suicide after a month.
In both the above incidents, I felt the members of the family did not show any compassion.love and understanding.

In a household, where love and affection rein supreme, there is peace and happiness for all. Children brought under such an atmosphere also acquire these traits. This way, they are trained to face the outside world, Some of my friends did not treat their parents properly. They did not provide the required emotional and financial support. A close friend, who was the only child, did not stay with his parents even for a month after marriage. To-day, he realises his mistake when his only child is ignoring him totally. It is said "you reap what you sow"".If one takes care of parents and spreads love at home. then children also learn to behave like that.

Dalai Lama has said "There is no need for temples or complicated philosophy.Our brain and heart are temples, the philosophy is kindness".

I believe that the statement "charity begins at home" refers only to this kindness.