What is love?. Erich Seigal is his book "Love Story" defines love as "never having to say sorry". According to me, love requires serious comimtment and determination. There was a famous Tamil movie hero, Gemiini Ganesh, who married so many times and yet called them "love' every time. He first married Babji and then Pushpavalli (mother of Rekha who was reigning queen of Hindi films at one time), After a few years, he again married Rajashree and called it as "love at first sight". Towards the end of his life, I saw him in a lift in Femina Hotel at Tiruchuirapalli with a twenty year old girl. (he was 78 ). There were reports that he had married this girl.. Is getting married (though illegally) to many girls over a period of time a sign of love or lust.
What are the famous examples we have before us of successful "loved and married" couples? I can think of Prakash Karat ( a Keralite) and Brind Karat (a Bengali). I can also think of late Vikram Sarabhai ( a Gujarati) and Mrinalinin Sarabhai (a South Indian). In Bollywood, I can think ONLY of Nargis (a Muslim)and Sunil Dutt (a Hindu). Their marriage was very successful because of the commitment shown by both towards marriage. Mr Dutt loved his wife so much that he spent eighteen months alone with her towards the end of her life,cancelling all his shootings, trying his best to save her from cancer. He even mortgaged his house in Bandra and raised money from friends for hospital expenses. Twenty years ago, he spent more than a crore of rupees for her treatment. He did not marry again after the death of Nargis and produced a film "yadein" in her memory. He was very much unlike Gemini Ganesh. No wonder the famous daughter of Gemini Ganesh, Rekha, wanted to
marry Sunil Dutt after her affair with Amitabh Bachan. I have great admiration for Mr Dutt, tholugh I do not think much his son.
We have also examples of J.F.Kennedy and Jacquline Kennedy, another case of "loved and married" couple. After the death of JFK, Jacquline two-timed Robert Kennedy and a Greek Ship Owner, Aristotal Onassis. As Rbert Kennedy was already married with nine children and a possible candidate for the post of President of USA, she eventually married Onassis for "financial security". She is the best example of how love could degenrate into" financial security".
I had also ocassions to "deal "with love. In my younger days, I was more keen to earn my lovelihood for the family that I had no time or inclination for love, We have three cases of "loved and married" couples in our extended family. My youngest daughter Nirupama had fallen in love with Bala Iyer, her College mate. As usual in most cases, we came to know about it last. Parents are always the last people to know. (and friends the first). I called Bala to my home at Chruchgate and asked him to wait for one year for my reply. I wanted to be sure that their love remained undiiminished after a year. When I saw that their love for each other only grew with lapse of time, I decided to get them married. I was recently in London with Bakla and Neema. I was happy to note that Bala reads stories to his two daughters every day before going to bed. The girls were also looking eagerly for the return from Office by Bala. This way, bonding between the father and the
children grows. And children remember this for a long time.
My brother Ramani!s two daughters, Lalitha and Vidya also "loved and married". My brother asked me to see Sunil and give my views before the marriage.. Sunil met me in my house at Churchgate. He impressed me as a young man was was capable of giving his commitment to love. I gave my views to Ramani. I did not have occassion to meet Aravind before marriage.
To-day, I am happy--enormously happy-- that Bala and Neema and Sunil and Lalitha are happily settled in their life. I pray God to bless all the lovers with long life and good health. After all, the whole world loves a lover.
I want to conclude with a little piece of advice, There is a tendency for young couples to turn to Laptop, immediately after returning from Office. This is not at all good. You must all spend quality time with children. You do all the work in the Office and do not touch laptop at home for any reason whatsoever unless it is very very important. Childen are more important than career and money. Do not become a victim of any habit and looking at Laptop, after return from Office, is an avoidable bad habit.
There should be no ego between husband and wife. Likewise, there should be no secrets between the two. Do not loose your trust and love for each other at any time,
With my blessings
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