EGO

What has happened to former President Shri Abdul Kalam at the New Delhi air-port recently has led me to think and write about ego. Mr Kalam was thoroughly checked and frisked (including removal of shoes) by Continental Air-lines Officials. By convention and law, Presidents, former Presidents and Prime Ministers are exempt from security check. In fact, they are received at the tarmac, while in office. Mr Kalam, without raising any objection, subjected himself to security. The accompanying Z categotory Security Officials objected to the check, but the air-line officials insisted on doing their job. For a person who had occupied the highest Office in the land subjecting himself to such security check without any objection showed his character.. In a world full of people with bloated ego, Shri Kalam is indeed a rare person. In my life, I have seen and met people whose ego ran faster than their thoughts.

What is ego?. It refers to the good opinion you have of yourself. In many cases, it is misplaced. It then becomes exaggerated self-esteem. Normally people with a very high ego become egocentric. They think only of themselves.

They say that even an ant has ego. That is why we are reading so many jokes about an ant and elephant. In all these jokes. the ant claims it is stronger than the elephant..I had a friend who was always telling " I have done this. I have done that. I have achieved much more than the targets fixed etc". He was avoided by others and was usually referred to as "I" Specialist.

I do however feel that certain amount of ego is necessary. Though humility is a necessary virtue, without ego there is no growth or no incentive for growth. There are certain individuals like Shah Rukh Khan with a bloated ego who are big achievers. At the same time there are big achievers like Narayanmurthy without any trace of ego. The ego in a person should be related to his ability or achievements. Ego without ability or achievements invites ridicule/criticism..

Why ego is necessary? When you think high of yourself, you have to prove to the world that your ego is justified. You are then compelled to take efforts. If you succeed, your ego is justified. If you fail, your ego is misplaced. That is how the world thinks of you.

There is a famous statement on ego by ADLIN SINCLAIR. "Without ego, there is no faith in your ability. Without faith,hope and trust, there is no promise for the future and without a promising future, life has no direction and justification."

Physiachrists say that we always operate in three ego-states--CHILD (playful and child-like) ADULT (SENSIBLE AND LOGICAL) and PARENT (Controlling and Nurturing). All of us are alternating in these states every day of our life. A child goes to a parent mode when it tells another child " Do not touch fire. You will get hurt". Like-wise an old man goes into child mode when he enjoys a comic movie and laughs loudly

The one person I have loved without any trace of ego was my Papa Chittappa at Chennai. He was indeed a noble soul.